<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>We'll be okay by lovemelotsbabe</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27978129">We'll be okay</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovemelotsbabe/pseuds/lovemelotsbabe'>lovemelotsbabe</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>SEVENTEEN (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 16:34:38</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,392</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27978129</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovemelotsbabe/pseuds/lovemelotsbabe</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Wonwoo hasn't felt anything in ages. Ever since the accident happened, he hasn't been the same since. Plagued with nightmares of the incident, he's turned into a shell of a person.</p><p> </p><p>Then one day he decides to give himself closure.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Boo Seungkwan/Jeon Wonwoo</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>22</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Coffee</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Purpleboocake/gifts">Purpleboocake</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I hope you enjoy~</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Wonwoo leans over his precious bed in search of a coffee mug. He feels around on the bedside table, not bothering to turn the lamp on. He made contact with the now cold porcelain, only for it to fall to the ground and shatter. As if it was a sick joke, he felt his heart shatter with it.</p><p>‘Fuck, that was his favorite mug.'</p><p>He rakes his hands through his hair and sighs. He wanted to tell himself that it was okay. Hell, that everything was going to be okay. But he knows it’s a lie. Nothing has ever been okay. Nothing came back to it’s usual. Nothing was normal anymore. Wonwoo hasn’t slept in days. And the days he does, it’s never good.</p><p>God, the nightmares. The fucking nightmares. As Wonwoo thought of the awful things his mind cooked up, his phone rang. He jolted up and scrambled to find the loud noise. His hand grasp the small object and squinted at the bright light.</p><p>Soonyoung.</p><p>Wonwoo gulped and hesitantly tapped the accept button.</p><p>“H-hello?”</p><p>“Ah! Hey Wonwoo! It’s uh, it’s been a while, hasn’t it?</p><p>“Uh, yeah it has been,” Wonwoo responded, scratching the back of his neck.</p><p>A few beats of silence passed until Soonyoung cleared his throat.</p><p>“Listen, it’s,” he took a deep breath in, “It’s been two years Wonwoo, you haven’t left your house since. Everyone is worried about you.”</p><p>Wonwoo closes his eyes. He tries to control his breathing but he can’t. His nose flared as he felt something snap inside him.</p><p>“Soonyoung do you expect me to be over it? Over him? What happened that day was my fault, and I’ll never be able to get over it,” he snapped.</p><p>“I’m sorry I just wanted to reach out,” Soonyoung started before he was cut off.</p><p>“I’m just tired okay? I need to get some sleep. Good night.”</p><p>“Wonwoo… it’s almost the afternoon,” Sooyoung said, his tone a bit sad.</p><p>Wonwoo furrowed his eyebrows and removed his phone from his ear to check. And Soonyoung was very much correct, it was almost 12 pm.</p><p>He huffed and said a quick goodbye to Soonyoung before hanging up the call. He fell back into the bed and choked back a sob. He didn’t even realize that he had almost stayed up the entire night. It was becoming almost a routine at this point to not sleep that he didn’t even notice it anymore.</p><p>“Maybe if I just take a thirty-minute nap nothing will happen. Right?” Wonwoo nods to himself.</p><p>“Right.” Wonwoo slides under his covers and closes his tired eyes.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Nightmare</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is a significant chapter, but it does include depictions of a car accident, blood, and I do describe death in detail. I will include ** to show when it happens so you can skip it. Anyway, I hope you enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wonwoo!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wonwoo turns around to face his lover as he holds a forkful of cheesecake near his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Say ah,” he motions for him to open his mouth and feeds him the small bit of cheesecake.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wonwoo’s eyes soften as he allows his lover to feed him. He watches as he searches around for the plate of cheesecake to serve him another bite. Wonwoo spots it first and takes the fork from him. He takes a bit of the small dessert and feeds it to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, um, Seungkwan?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seungkwan looked up from the ground and stared at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wonwoo gazed into Seungkwan’s large brown eyes. His tan skin reflects the sun and his brown hair bounces softly as the wind blows. He’s perfect.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seungkwan seems to notice Wonwoo's staring because a rosy blush starts to arise on the tips of his ears. Seungkwan touches his face in confusion and tilts his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is there something on my face?” He asks with a concerned look on his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wonwoo simply smiles, reaching over to tuck a stray hair behind the younger’s ear. He then cups his face and pecks his forehead.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The blush has now reached Seungkwan’s cheeks and he stares up at him wide-eyed. Seeing this, Wonwoo takes the opportunity to leave a soft peck on his nose, then both his cheeks, then his lips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you, you know that right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seungkwan blinks rapidly in confusion. He then slowly nods, trying to regain his composure.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, yeah I do. I love you too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wonwoo sighs and studies him in more depth. His eyes seemed to contain the stars, maybe the whole universe. The way they sparkle in the sun and always seem to smile back at him. His hand finds his way to his lover’s ear and he taps the three moles in a rhythm. Seungkwan leans into his touch and closes his eyes, somehow still looking ethereal while seemingly sleeping. He feels his chest swell with pride.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The person in his hand is </span>
  <em>
    <span>his</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He gets to call this perfect person, </span>
  <em>
    <span>his</span>
  </em>
  <span>. His own source of happiness, his own joy, his </span>
  <em>
    <span>lover</span>
  </em>
  <span>. And he hopes this will never change.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He places a small kiss on the mole above his lip and leans his forehead against the younger’s.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The latter opens his eyes and smiles.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘This is it. This is the time to do it.’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Wonwoo scoots away from Seungkwan and kneels, propping one foot up so he’s on one knee.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seungkwan’s eyes fill with confusion until it hits. His shoulders lower and a small smile forms on his lips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wonwoo took a deep breath in and started.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Seungkwan, you mean the world to me. Every day I wake up knowing that I have you by my side. I’m so happy that Soonyoung introduced us that one day, and to be honest, I think I already started liking you,” he lets out a laugh, “You were just so peppy and brightened the whole mood. Everything about you so perfect, to your eyes, moles,” he reached over and tapped the one near his lip, “The way you always find a way to smile in dark situations, it’s just so perfect.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seungkwan’s lips start to tremble.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wonwoo takes another breath in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you. I love you so much it hurts. And,” he reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out a purple velvet box. He opens it to reveal a gold band studded with diamonds. “And I want you to be mine forever.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seungkwan gasps and covers his mouth. Tears rim his eyes and his hands start to shake.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh my God, oh my God. Yes!” Seungkwan stutters out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wonwoo’s heart bursts in pure happiness. He reaches over to hug his soon to be fiance when he feels nothing. He opens his eyes, only to see that Seungkwan isn’t there. No one is there.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He jumps up in a panic and swivels around. They weren’t by the Han river anymore. Instead, he was in the middle of a highway. Police and firefighters rush past him carrying a stretcher.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wait. A stretcher? Pure panic fills Wonwoo’s heart as he watches them rush to several cars that are rammed into each other. A car was in the middle of the mess, to be honest, it didn’t even look like a car anymore. Just a pile of burning scrap metal.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>**</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Whoever was in the car couldn’t have survived that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then they pulled a body from the burning vehicle. And his heart clenched, then shattered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No no no no no.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He pushed past the crowd and was about to leap into the many police officers when he was held back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sir you need to step away.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No! That’s my boyfriend! Please let me see him, please!” Wonwoo clawed at the officers, trying to rip his way through. His lungs heaved as if he had run a mile beforehand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Everything seemed hazy as if he had tunnel vision and to fix it he needed to see Seungkwan.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Please</span>
  </em>
  <span>, his mind seemed to constantly scream.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He struggled in their hold but they were too strong. He was dragged away as he watched them put him in the stretcher.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was so much blood. Blood pooling from his chest, blood from his broken arm, blood from the tear in his cheek. His once curly brown hair was charred and black. Once tanned skin was now sickly pale and hollow. The place where his small lip mole once was gone. It looked like it was ripped off and so empty. Then he looked at his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His eyes were the worst part. His once big brown eyes filled with the galaxies and the secrets to happiness were cold and lifeless. Those eyes would never smile at Wonwoo again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His Seungkwan was gone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And it was all his fault.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>**</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wonwoo shot up and started violently shaking. Tears pooled in his eyes and threatened to fall.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m so sorry. I’m so fucking sorry.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>To those who skipped, it depicted Seungkwan in a car crash that ended his life. I promise that this is the only time the dream will appear in the story, but this is the nightmare that Wonwoo always has.</p><p>I hope you enjoyed it though.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. I'll get up</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Wonwoo decides to get up and take a shower, a few memories slip by locked gates and filter in his mind though.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This story is coming to a close soon, and I just want to stay I'm so happy that I started writing this. It's helped me get back into the swing of writing and I feel a lot happier because of that. So, thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy &lt;3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Wonwoo shakily gets up from his bed and starts for the bathroom. The best thing he can do right now is to wash the dream away at least try to breathe.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He swings open the door and stumbles in, rubbing the sleep away from his eyes. Wonwoo looks up and gazes up at himself in the mirror.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A plain white shirt clung to his shoulders, soaked in sweat because of the nightmare. Just the thought of it made Wonwoo wince. His eyes lowered to stare at the stained baggy black sweatpants that he had been wearing for the past week. He tugs at them then glances up at his face, scanning over his ashy skin and the deadness in his eyes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He shook his head and turned on the shower. He pulled his dirty shirt over his head and threw it onto the floor. He stretched his arms over his head and he untied his sweatpants, sliding them onto the floor. He also threw them in the corner with the discarded shirt. He removed his other undergarments and stepped into the shower, letting the warm water hit his face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Wonwoo sighed and reached for the body wash, yet his hand stopped in midair.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>In front of him was Seungkwan’s old body wash. His hand twitched then reached over to grab it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Wonwoo examined the bottle which contained a pint-sized amount of the actual wash. Seungkwan would always argue that he didn’t need to get a new bottle and that small bit was enough. Wonwoo would always let him win, then go to the store and buy him a new bottle in secret.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Wonwoo allowed a smile to slip onto his face and opened the bottle. He put a small bit onto a loofa and washed up.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When he finished with his shower he exited and wrapped a towel around his waist. He inhaled the scent of cinnamon and vanilla and smiled.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And for once, that smile was genuine.</span>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <span>After drying up, Wonwoo slid on a pair of black sweatpants and a sweater, not yet ready for anything form-fitting. He gazed around his room and ran a hand through his hair.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>To put it simply, it was a mess.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rogue coffee cups were everywhere, takeout boxes were splayed across the floor like small trash islands, and everything was collecting a fine layer of dust.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Seungkwan would be so disappointed in me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He reminisced on how he used to scold him whenever he would leave a dirty dish on the counter.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Wonwoo!” Wonwoo would look up from his book and see a fuming Seungkwan standing before him, hands on his hips and foot anxiously tapping.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Yes?” Wonwoo would respond as he stared up, confused at the sight of his seemingly irritated boyfriend.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“The dishes aren’t done,” Seungkwan whined and crossed his arms, a pout heavy on his lips. “You promised you’d do them, remember?”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Wonwoo looked away at his lover and focused on a vase. He racked his brain trying to remember when he promised such a thing. He then realized, making a small “oh” with his mouth before turning back to his boyfriend, a sympathetic smile on his face.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Yeah, yeah I do.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Seungkwan nodded, pointing to the kitchen.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Great, now go do them.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>As Wonwoo was about to get up, he thought of an idea.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>He grabbed Seungkwan by the waist and dragged him so he sat bridal style in his lap.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>The aforementioned’s face lit up a bright red when he realized where he was sitting. His eyes flicked up to Wonwoo’s teasing one’s and sputtered out a measly, “Huh,” before Wonwoo engulfed him in a hug.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“I love you.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Seungkwan’s doe eyes widened even wider than they already were and his face got ten shades darker.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Your eyes are really pretty by the way,” Wonwoo continued and pecked his nose.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“You- you love me?”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Of course I do, have you met you? I dunno, but I think you’re pretty swell.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Seungkwan gaped like a fish before burying his face into his boyfriend’s neck.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>A few beats of comfortable silence passed.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“I love you too.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Correction.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Seungkwan buried his face into his lover’s neck.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“You still need to go do the dishes.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Shit.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>That was the first of many times they said their “I love you’s,” together. Now Wonwoo just said them alone.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <span>Filled with determination and somewhat happy memory, Wonwoo went to work cleaning his room.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>An hour later, his room looked presentable enough and he walked over to the windows. He opened the curtains and inhaled before he opened the blinds. He winced at the bright light that now streamed through the window. It had been a while since he saw sunlight.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I should go on a walk, that’s what Boo would want. I’ve been here for weeks, he’d want me to get some fresh air.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And so that’s what he did. Wonwoo pulled on a pair of socks and some worn-down sneakers. He walked into the living room, which was in better condition than his room, and glanced at the vase that stood on a small table, he then smiled for the second time that day.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He grabbed his mask, keys, and opened up his apartment door for something other than takeout.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I hope you enjoyed &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. A walk to a special place</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>While on his walk, Wonwoo stumbles upon a place he hasn't seen in a while and a person who is still healing in the same way he is.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I suggest listening to Seungkwan's cover of Forsake while reading this because I think I reference it ! It's also just a beautiful song in general</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The sky was slightly cloudy, the seemingly bright sun was now hiding behind the clouds. The wind picked up and was now playing with Wonwoo’s hair. His gray sweater clung to his skin as if asking him to run back into his house and to hide under his covers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He shook his head, pushing his glasses up his nose bridge, and continued to walk. Wonwoo popped his earbuds in and scrolled through his song catalog. His finger stopped, hovering over a song. Well, a cover of a song.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He gulped and pressed on the play button.</span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <em>
    <span>Wonwoo was bouncing on the balls of his feet, with a bouquet of rapeseed flowers in his hands, trying not to psych himself out. All he has to do is knock on the door.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“You can do it. You can do it,” he says to himself and lifts his hand to knock.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The door flung open, revealing Seungkwan’s mother.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Wonwoo lowered his arm awkwardly and smiled at the older woman.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Hello Mrs. Boo,” he says, smiling as brightly as he can.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Ah! It’s very nice to see you again,” she replies and opens the door wider. “Seungkwan is in his room getting ready, he’s excited to see you again.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“He is?” Mrs. Boo nodded. “Oh,” Wonwoo smiled wider.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>She stepped out of the way and gestures towards the hallway that led to Seungkwan’s room. Wonwoo smiled at her again, then quickly walked towards his room. He stopped at the door and patted himself down. He gazed at the mirror that was in the hallway and stood in front of it.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He adjusted his glasses, fixed his collar, and ran a hand through his hair. The elder relaxed his shoulders and gathered the courage to knock on the door.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>As he was about to knock, he heard a noise. It sounded like humming. Wonwoo put his ear to the door and listened.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It was light and calm, it was one of those hums thought could put you to sleep. Wonwoo felt his eyes flutter close as he continued listening.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The humming got louder and louder until it sounded like it was right next to the door.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>That’s because it was.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The door opened and Wonwoo stumbled through the doorway.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Wh-.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Here-,” Wonwoo shoved the flowers into his arms, “You have a really pretty voice. Even though you weren’t technically singing. Your humming is super pretty and you could honestly sing me to sleep, I’m rambling aren’t I?” Wonwoo finished with an awkward smile.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Seungkwan blinked, a rosy blush dusting on his face. He furrowed his eyebrows and grabbed the fumbling Wonwoo, dragging him into the former’s room.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Why were you glued to my door? And why are you here so early?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I wanted to surprise you, and I just explained why. I missed you.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“You did?” Seungkwan whispered.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Of course I did Boo, I even got your favorite flowers.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Seungkwan’s shoulders relaxed, and he smiled.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Now back to you singing, don’t roll your eyes at me,” Wonwoo retorts with no malice in his voice. “I had no exact plans for today, but now I have an idea.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>That’s how Wonwoo got Seungkwan to sing for him for the first time.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Later on, when they both were in college, Wonwoo rented out a small studio so he and other friends could record songs. He brought Seungkwan there one day, and he sang his first cover.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>One became two, then three, till he started to sing his own original songs.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>Seungkwan’s first cover, a song called Forsake, finished when Wonwoo resurfaced from his thoughts. He looked around, only to notice that he was in a place that was familiar to him. He walked down another block, only to stumble upon a house.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wonwoo walked up the path to the porch, stepping on the wooden steps that led to the door. Lifting his hand, he knocked on the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He shuffled at the door for a few moments, immediately regretting his decision.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘What if she doesn’t want to see me? What if she hates me? Why did I even come here, oh my gosh this was such a mistake.’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>The door slowly opened, revealing a small graying woman. She still had the same smile he had grown accustomed to when he was a teen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He smiled as wide as we could.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hello Mrs. Boo,” his smile faltered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Isn’t it nice to see you again dear, would you like some coffee?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He shuddered at the memory of him breaking Seungkwan’s mug that morning.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you have any tea?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course I do dear. Oh, please come inside, you must be freezing.”</span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>They were sitting at the dining table, and Mrs. Boo had arrived with two mugs in her hand and handed one to Wonwoo.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He nodded in thanks and started to take small sips of the hot beverage.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So what brought you here of all places?” She asks, sipping at her own drink.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wonwoo moved the mug away from his mouth and licked his lips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I-I, well, I came here to apologize.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mrs. Boo furrowed her eyebrows in confusion.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“For what? You haven’t done anything wrong dear.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wonwoo shakes his head, placing the mug on the table and wringing his hands together in his lap.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The day Boo-, the day Seungkwan died,” he took a breath in, “I was supposed to drive him home, yet I was busy with a friend of mine because I was making dinner for him. You see, I was planning on proposing to him that day.” Wonwoo laughed, but it sounded humorless and awkward.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He glanced up at Mrs. Boo, she looked confused but seemed to urge him to continue.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I had everything set up, we were going to go on a picnic on the Han River and we’d eat and laugh, then I’d propose. Instead, Seungkwan took an uber home. Except that uber never made it home. I figured out later on the news that there was a crash, and I panicked because he hadn’t come home yet.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“By the time I made it to the hospital, he was gone,” Wonwoo finished.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had started sniffling while telling the story, and tears were rimming his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wonwoo was expecting Mrs. Boo to yell, scream at him to get out of her house, but she sat there. A sympathetic, yet understanding look in her eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I still don’t understand why you need to apologize to me, dear, none of this seems to be your fault. You just sound guilty of something that you couldn’t have prevented.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wonwoo opened his mouth to retaliate, but she brought up a hand and silenced him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This isn’t your fault and has never been your fault. To be honest with you, I felt the same way. I thought it was my fault that he died so early on in his life. I couldn’t live with the fact that my baby was gone,” she scrunched up her nose and shook her head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then I realized that he wouldn’t have wanted me to feel this way. He would want me to live life just fine without him, so I tried. I started going to therapy,” she chuckled, “My therapist told me the same thing and I felt the need to get better. I started seeing my friends again, and I finally felt alive for the first time in months.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Now, I’m not saying to go to therapy, but I am saying to not be so hard on yourself. You feeling this way won’t bring him back. Trust me I would know. Just start opening up more and let people help you. You can’t go through everything on your own.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wonwoo leaned back into his chair and picked the mug back up. He took a sip and thought to himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘That’s what Boo would’ve wanted.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I hope you enjoyed &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. We're happy there together</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Let's go to sleep again. We'll be okay.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Wonwoo waved goodbye to Mrs. Boo and started on his way back home.</p><p>
  <em> "You can always come by whenever you need something, dear. I'm always up for a cup of tea." </em>
</p><p>Wonwoo breathed in deeply, realizing that he had finally stepped out of his house. Now, that wouldn't mean much at all to many people, but to him, it was a huge milestone. The fresh air was doing wonders for his dry lungs. Maybe he would do this more often.</p><p>Maybe he was on the way to getting better.</p><p>Spotting a cafe on his way back, bustling with people, he stared at it. Deep in thought, when a person bumped into him and he felt his bones jump out of his skin. The person apologized and skipped away, leaving a shaken up Wonwoo in their wake.</p><p>Yeah, it was going to take a while.</p>
<hr/><p>He had finally arrived back to his apartment, basically falling through the door. His legs felt numb from the long walk and he could barely drag himself to his room. The fatigue of not sleeping and suddenly having a change in pace had finally caught up to him.</p><p>Wonwoo threw off his shoes, mask, and keys onto the newly cleaned floor, and laid on his bed, letting the tiredness overtake him.</p><p>He closed his eyes, not yet realizing the possible consequences of him sleeping.</p>
<hr/><p>Wonwoo walked down the beach, hands stuffed inside his hoodie pocket. The air smelled of salt, but fresh. The aura of the beach was to put it simply, nice.</p><p>There was a light breeze that twirled around Wonwoo. It seemed to be guiding him along the beach as if it wanted him to follow it. Wonwoo complied, sticking his arm out for the wind to wrap around and pull him to its desired location.</p><p>The wind seemed familiar, yet he could not tell why, it was homey and relaxing, reminding him of the old days. When Seungkwan was still with him when he was happy. He frowned, allowing the bad thoughts to seep in.</p><p>The wind seemed to notice him lagging and started to blow from behind him. Now pushing and pulling him forward.</p><p>The area the wind seemed to be taking him was familiar.</p><p>Why was everything so familiar? It started to get under Wonwoo’s skin because he didn’t understand why he couldn’t figure it out.</p><p>The wind pulled him up ramps, down ramps, over hills, and through a small field, just to end up at a large expanse of grass. The wind wrapped around Wonwoo, as if hugging him for achieving its goal. Wonwoo smiled instinctively, sitting down on a patch of grass.</p><p>He looked around, taking in the sight. The green grass, the bright blinding sun, the trees that had turned red because fall was in its prime, the cloudless sky, the light taste of salt in the air, the river… The river?</p><p>Why were they at a river?</p><p>The wind picked up on his confusion when it breezed by his ear.</p><p><em> “Han river,” </em> It seemed to whisper in his ears.</p><p>Han… river…?</p><p>Oh.</p><p>The place where he took Seungkwan on their first date. He smiled at the nice memory. The wind picked up (it seemed to pick up on all his emotions, just like Seungkwan) and blew some stray leaves in his face. </p><p>He brushed them off his body, giggling as he did it.</p><p>This area was the same place he was going to propose to Seungkwan.</p><p>He gulped and pushed his hair back.</p><p>The rush of memories filling his head of him seeing him for the first time.</p><p>And seeing him lowered into his grave for the last time.</p><p>
  <em> “It’s not your fault.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “I’d want you to be happy without me.” </em>
</p><p>The wind wrapped around him, giving him a tight squeeze, suffocating him for a second,</p><p>He blinked back his tears and laid on the ground.</p><p>Taking a deep breath, he raised his arm so it was perpendicular to the ground.</p><p>The wind, that reminded him of Seungkwan, wrapped around his arm, making him giggle because it was ticklish.</p><p>The wind smelled like cinnamon, vanilla, and salt.</p>
<hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>Wonwoo slowly awoke, tears in his eyes. Yet, this time they weren’t sad. They were calm and well deserved.</p><p>“At least we’re happy there together,”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<hr/><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p><p>“Hello?”</p><p>“Hi, um Soonyoung,” a sniffle, “uh do you and Seokmin wanna head to the cafe near my apartments this weekend on uh, Sunday?”</p><p>A light chuckle.</p><p>“Of course Wonwoo, it’s nice to hear from you again.”</p><p>“The same for me, um well you, since I can’t really hear myself, well. You know what I mean.”</p><p>“Yeah, I do. See you then?”</p><p>“Yep, see you.”</p><p>Click.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Fin</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Ah! It's finished. Wow, I just wanna thank my friend Purple (@Purpleboocake on here) for giving me permission to make this story come to life in the first place. This is the first au I've finished in a long time, and I want to say that I'm satisfied with the result. I really enjoyed writing this, and I hope you enjoyed reading it.</p><p>Lots of love<br/>- Axel</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>